Self-esteem is defined as the attitude of respect towards oneself based on how the person perceives themselves. Healthy self-esteem usually stems from balanced self-perception, but most people, especially women, tend to have low self-esteem and poor self image. This comes together with low confidence to do or be many things in our lives, limits our experiences and negatively impacts the quality of our lives. The good news is that we can take control of our own self-esteem and create a better relationship with ourselves. Here is how.
Take a holistic approach
It is very important to realize we are all very complex beings, and we have many traits which can be positive and negative, and anywhere in between. We are not just our physical bodies, we are also emotional, mental, spiritual and energetic beings. We don’t only have one role in life, we have many: we are friends, family members, neighbors, colleagues, partners, parents and so on. It is impossible that we are bad in each of those roles. When you zoom out and try to see yourself and your life from a broader perspective, you will see you have probably been focusing only on those aspects you are unhappy about.
Admittedly, being realistic about ourselves is very difficult. But, those days do exist, when you just drop your judgments and your fears and look at yourself in the mirror – for real. You usually realize it is not all that bad as you portray it to be in your head. If the mirror doesn’t do the trick, sit in a public place and do a session of people watching. Observe people. Do you think any one of them realistically matches the expectations you are putting on yourself? How would they react if you talked to them the way you talk to yourself?
Ask for feedback
People in our lives see us differently than we see ourselves and they often judge us less too. If you can’t assess your own life, ask for help. Ask friends and family and people who know you to tell you what they like and appreciate about you, why you are important to them, why you are unique, but also what they think are less desirable aspects of your life and behavior. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses and try to work on reducing your weaknesses steadily.
Make necessary improvements
Commit to making changes where you would like to see improvements. It is perfectly ok to commit to building a great version of yourself. If you have insecurities around your public speaking, take a class in public speaking, improve your skills instead of wallowing in self pity and negative emotions. Women tend to show a lack of confidence around their appearance, but nowadays, there are so many options for making improvements. If you are concerned about your body shape, there is plastic surgery. If your weight is making you insecure, there are all kinds of diets you can try out and get professional advice online. The same goes for skin improvements – women are trying to keep their skin young looking forever. Not possible of course, but there are solutions like Medik8 serums and creams which can make your skin look healthy and improve all the inconsistencies on a long term bases. There is professional help available and it is not taboo anymore.
Treat yourself as you would treat someone else: be honest and realistic in your assessments or ask for help in getting a better picture, see yourself in multiple roles and as a whole person. Once you have identified your weak spots, commit to making improvements. Be sure to set yourself up for success by setting small achievable goals. Make a habit of it and pat yourself on the back for any progress, you are probably doing better than most.